Hihihi. I just got my degree on Para-astrology from this guy named OTIT. Now it's my turn hihihi.

Tell me your birthdate or zodiac sign and I'll tell you your true horoscope based on my crystal balls...

EDIT: Title changed

ok then.... what about zodiac sign libra... : : :

Hihihi... my first customer.  >

Libra... my crystal balls say...

You are the forgiving type and you don't bear grudges. This makes you an asshole. For your entire life people will make a complete prick out of you. You are an artistic type and have a terrible time with reality.

Many Librans are queer. Librans use nude sculptures for masturbation, occasionally getting contusions and abrasions on the genitalia. Also, most Libra women are good prostitutes or 'light hooks', or are kept by short, fat, bald Taurians.

Hihihi...

:o :o :o :violent1: :sex: :toothy:

hihihi. one satisfied customer. ;D

how about virgos? i'm really anxious to know. i always read about this stuff from bulgar or tik tik but they don't work for me. it's crap but not crappy enough for me. hehehehe

;D hey, how about me Im born on a cusp day May 21, so Im taurus and Gemini. ( Im confused). > :angel:

Hihihi... we got a Virgo here... my crystal balls like to close examine female Virgos... i usually charge for male Virgos but in your case i'll make an exemption... hihihi

Virgo -
You like the good things in life and you know how to enjoy them. But you're prone to bulls#!^ting and you're a cheap bastard. You are very logical and bureaucratic. You hate disorder. Virgos make dependable prison guards, and the best Virgos make good jeepney drivers.

Virgo men are usually queers and the majority of Virgo women are whores. Male Virgos are cold and unemotional, often dozing off while making love. Virgo women are frigid. Virgos could be improved by applying Tiger-balm to their jocks and pantyhose.

Hihihi.  ;D

More customers.... welcome!! hhihihi...  ;D

Geminaurus... now that is a rare sign... hmmm. Your star sign denotes an air of duality in your character. Simply, you're a neurotic schizophrenic. A real f*cking weirdo, the type of person who'd kill them self to win a bet.

You are a quick and intelligent thinker. You naturally have many friends, because you are a bisexual, an anomaly which you could blame on your Taurus sign. You do expect far too much, considering how little you generally give. You are an expert dodger of restaurant checks. Your Gemini sign gives imbues you with a loner instinct that could lead you to a career as a cop in a tunnel. You must resist that tendency.

Geminauruses make good masseurs under strong leadership.

Hihihi...

Hehe. What can you say about aquarius? :angel:

Hihihi... i hope you don't ban me for this... >

Aquarius...
You are the academic type and will probably end up working in the legal system. This means you are an absolute pervert. You have an inventive mind and an inclination to be progressive. You are in favor of such innovation as sterilization and euthanasia for everybody but yourself. You also lie a great deal.

You are inclined to carelessness and impracticality, and make the same mistakes over and over. Your friends think you are stupid. Many Aquarians end up in insane asylums.

;D ;D ;D

Thanks for clearing that up 213, I suspected as much. Now I can relax, safe in the knowledge that I am indeed a f#*king weird c^*t.. :cussing: :happy2: :puke: :violent1: :violent2:

Now  i feel guilty. I'm just playing bro! Hihihi...

Hey no worries!!!!! I was thinking maybe I was normal.....................too boring!!!!!!
I enjoy being a weirdo!!!!!!!!! ;D ;D

thank you very much! especially for doing this job free for me. i really appreciate it. before i thought i was behaving the way i'm not supposed to. now it's confirmed. you really light up my life, you bring reason to my existence. now i know i'm not living differently from the way i should. i think i should change my name from DERANGED to ARRANGED.

Thanks bro  i'll count that as a good testimonial. hihi


You don't have to change  name bro. I like it just the way you are... DERANGED. just like me  hihihi

Next!!!

what's up with cancer?

Cancer aarrghh... hihihi

You have a businesslike attitude to life and a knack for making money. You're an unscrupulous bastard who would sell relative's limbs to buy a mobile phone. You appear to be sympathetic and understanding of other people's problems, but rarely you are sincere. People with better judgment than you (the majority) consider you a lightweight.

You like procrastinating, which is why you will never be continually successful. Some of the very few gifted Cancer people in the world have career death wishes probably out of feelings of guilt, which are justified.

You use people but don't have the wit and skill to mask your one-way attitude about exploitation of others. Most Cancer people end up as bag-ladies or bag-men, whatever.

Hihihi!

ok. now I guess i'll try a madam auring on this miserable life of mine. what more can you say O Most Wise Master? I'm a taurus.

Ah, Taurus. What you need is to laugh to be not miserable... like me hihihi..

Warm and caring are your most endearing characteristics. You get on well with most people because you're some kind of a bisexual. You hardly ever wear underwear and you constantly smell of piss.
You overeat, not for compensation but from sheer gluttony. You would do well in an ant hill, where many people who know you well wish you were.

Hihihi!