TOPIC: All About Beer
All About Beer 5 years, 7 months ago #31740
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Baguiophoria!
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Re: All About Beer 5 years, 7 months ago #31742
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sa redhorse pwede. 3 bottles would mean distortion of the senses.... on the 4th bottle would be more dis%^()(**_((+_)+ ;D :-[ :
 8) ??? :o  8)) :tickedoff: :smiley66: :knuppel: |
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Re: All About Beer 5 years, 7 months ago #31746
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sa redhorse pwede. 3 bottles would mean distortion of the senses.... on the 4th bottle would be more dis%^()(**_((+_)+ ;D :-[ : 8) ??? :o 8)) :tickedoff: :smiley66: :knuppel:Hehe a smiley story. Yeah me too, to me used to be 4 RHs was normal, guess alcohol tolerance lowers with age. But i guess it's ok so long as you follow these tips: BEER TROUBLESHOOTING SYMPTOM: Feet cold and wet. FAULT: Glass being held at incorrect angle. ACTION: Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling. SYMPTOM: Beer unusually pale and tasteless. FAULT: Glass empty. ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer. SYMPTOM: Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights. FAULT: You have fallen over backward. ACTION: Have yourself leashed to bar. SYMPTOM: Mouth contains cigarette butts. FAULT: You have fallen forward. ACTION: See above. SYMPTOM: Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet. FAULT: Mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of face. ACTION: Retire to restroom, practice in mirror. SYMPTOM: Floor blurred. FAULT: You are looking through bottom of empty glass. ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer. SYMPTOM: Floor moving. FAULT: You are being carried out. ACTION: Find out if you are being taken to another bar. SYMPTOM: Room seems unusually dark. FAULT: Bar has closed. ACTION: Confirm home address with bartender. SYMPTOM: Taxi suddenly takes on colorful aspect and textures. FAULT: Beer consumption has exceeded personal limitations. ACTION: Cover mouth. SYMPTOM: Everyone looks up to you and smiles. FAULT: You are dancing on the table. ACTION: Fall on somebody cushy-looking. SYMPTOM: Beer is crystal-clear. FAULT: It's water. Somebody is trying to sober you up. ACTION: Punch him. SYMPTOM: Hands hurt, nose hurts, mind unusually clear. FAULT: You have been in a fight. ACTION: Apologize to everyone you see, just in case it was them. SYMPTOM: Don't recognize anyone, don't recognize the room you're in. FAULT: You've wandered into the wrong party. ACTION: See if they have free beer. SYMPTOM: Your singing sounds distorted. FAULT: The beer is too weak. ACTION: Have more beer until your voice improves. SYMPTOM: Don't remember the words to the song. FAULT: Beer is just right. ACTION: Play air guitar.   ;D :happy2: :toothy: :drunk: :puke: :buck2: |
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Baguiophoria!
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Re: All About Beer 5 years, 7 months ago #31859
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sa redhorse pwede. 3 bottles would mean distortion of the senses.... on the 4th bottle would be more dis%^()(**_((+_)+ ;D :-[ : 8) ??? :o 8)) :tickedoff: :smiley66: :knuppel:Hehe a smiley story. Yeah me too, to me used to be 4 RHs was normal, guess alcohol tolerance lowers with age. But i guess it's ok so long as you follow these tips: BEER TROUBLESHOOTING SYMPTOM: Feet cold and wet. FAULT: Glass being held at incorrect angle. ACTION: Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling. SYMPTOM: Beer unusually pale and tasteless. FAULT: Glass empty. ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer. SYMPTOM: Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights. FAULT: You have fallen over backward. ACTION: Have yourself leashed to bar. SYMPTOM: Mouth contains cigarette butts. FAULT: You have fallen forward. ACTION: See above. SYMPTOM: Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet. FAULT: Mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of face. ACTION: Retire to restroom, practice in mirror. SYMPTOM: Floor blurred. FAULT: You are looking through bottom of empty glass. ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer. SYMPTOM: Floor moving. FAULT: You are being carried out. ACTION: Find out if you are being taken to another bar. SYMPTOM: Room seems unusually dark. FAULT: Bar has closed. ACTION: Confirm home address with bartender. SYMPTOM: Taxi suddenly takes on colorful aspect and textures. FAULT: Beer consumption has exceeded personal limitations. ACTION: Cover mouth. SYMPTOM: Everyone looks up to you and smiles. FAULT: You are dancing on the table. ACTION: Fall on somebody cushy-looking. SYMPTOM: Beer is crystal-clear. FAULT: It's water. Somebody is trying to sober you up. ACTION: Punch him. SYMPTOM: Hands hurt, nose hurts, mind unusually clear. FAULT: You have been in a fight. ACTION: Apologize to everyone you see, just in case it was them. SYMPTOM: Don't recognize anyone, don't recognize the room you're in. FAULT: You've wandered into the wrong party. ACTION: See if they have free beer. SYMPTOM: Your singing sounds distorted. FAULT: The beer is too weak. ACTION: Have more beer until your voice improves. SYMPTOM: Don't remember the words to the song. FAULT: Beer is just right. ACTION: Play air guitar. nice one ahihihi..now no nid 2 call paramedics..ahihihi..1st aid avialable :2funny: ;D :happy2: :toothy: :drunk: :puke: :buck2: |
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'm nOt crAzY..8's jUz thAt mY rEALity..iS diFFeRnT fRoM yOur'S..
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Re: All About Beer 5 years, 7 months ago #31861
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no one fall in love by choice it is by chance, no one stays in love by chance it is by work and no one fall out of love by chance it is by choice...
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Re: All About Beer 5 years, 7 months ago #31946
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I'm so amazingly clever that I often have to give up trying to understand what I'm saying.
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Re: All About Beer 5 years, 7 months ago #31958
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Re: All About Beer 5 years, 7 months ago #32013
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Why a Beer Is Better Than A Man!
A beer lasts longer than seven seconds... A beer will never expect you to sit in the wet spot IT makes... A beer won't leave you for a younger woman... Having a beer can't make you pregnant... A beer doesn't want to go out alone with the other beers... A beer won't switch the TV channel... A beer doesn't snore... A beer doesn't belch... A beer doesn't mind having panties & bras hanging in the bathroom... A good beer is easy to find... Tall, dark, good-looking beers are common... A beer doesn't have a mother... A beer won't get jealous if you enjoy another beer... A beer won't care if you gain five pounds... A beer will be there anytime... A beer isn't ready until you're ready... If the beer is finished before you are, you can have another beer... A beer can't talk about the women who had it before you... Hangovers go away... A beer tastes good... |
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Re: All About Beer 5 years, 7 months ago #32043
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Why a Beer Is Better Than A Man! A beer lasts longer than seven seconds... A beer will never expect you to sit in the wet spot IT makes... A beer won't leave you for a younger woman... Having a beer can't make you pregnant... A beer doesn't want to go out alone with the other beers... A beer won't switch the TV channel... A beer doesn't snore... A beer doesn't belch... A beer doesn't mind having panties & bras hanging in the bathroom... A good beer is easy to find... Tall, dark, good-looking beers are common... A beer doesn't have a mother... A beer won't get jealous if you enjoy another beer... A beer won't care if you gain five pounds... A beer will be there anytime... A beer isn't ready until you're ready... If the beer is finished before you are, you can have another beer... A beer can't talk about the women who had it before you... Hangovers go away... A beer tastes good... Ewan ko lang kung kaya mong pakisamahan yang beer na yan habambuhay... ;D ;D ;D Peace Bon... |
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Let the FORUMERS be many and the ADMIN/MODZ few - then all will be PASAWAY
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Re: All About Beer 5 years, 7 months ago #32057
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I'm so amazingly clever that I often have to give up trying to understand what I'm saying.
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Re: All About Beer 5 years, 7 months ago #32065
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Subject: warning to all men - very serious ****** Police are warning all men who frequent clubs, parties and local pubs to be alert and stay cautious when offered a drink from any woman. ******************************************* Many females use a date rape drug on the market called "Beer". The drug is found in liquid form and available anywhere. It comes in bottles, cans, from taps and in large "kegs". ******************************************* "Beer" is used by female sexual predators at parties and bars to persuade their male victims to go home and have sex with them. A woman needs only to get a guy to consume a few units of "Beer" and then simply ask him home for no strings attached sex. Men are rendered helpless against this approach. ******************************************* After several "Beers", men will often succumb to the desires to perform sexual acts on horrific looking women to whom they would never normally be attracted. ******************************************* After drinking "Beer", men often awaken with only hazy memories of exactly what happened to them the night before, often with just a vague feeling that "something bad" occurred. ******************************************* At other times these unfortunate men are swindled out of their life's savings, in a familiar scam known as "a relationship." In extreme cases, the female may even be shrewd enough to entrap the unsuspecting male into a longer term form of servitude and punishment referred to as "marriage". ******************************************* Men are much more susceptible to this scam after "Beer" is administered and sex is offered by the predatory females. ******************************************* Please forward this warning to every male you know. ******************************************* If you fall victim to this "Beer" and the women administering it, there are male support groups where you can discuss the details of your shocking encounter with similarly affected like-minded guys. *******************************************
REMEMBER WOMEN ARE DEVIOUS CREATURES!! > |
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I'm so amazingly clever that I often have to give up trying to understand what I'm saying.
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Re: All About Beer 5 years, 7 months ago #32081
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Beauty is in the eye of the "beerholder" ;D
All men must believe in something........................................I believe I'll have another beer! |
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I'm so amazingly clever that I often have to give up trying to understand what I'm saying.
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Re: All About Beer 5 years, 7 months ago #32089
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I'm so amazingly clever that I often have to give up trying to understand what I'm saying.
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Re: All About Beer 5 years, 7 months ago #32094
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"If your doctor warns that you have to watch your drinking, find a bar with a mirror." :idiot:
"Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my Gin, I say, "I'm thirsty, not dirty". "When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up............................................... reading."Â |
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I'm so amazingly clever that I often have to give up trying to understand what I'm saying.
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Re: All About Beer 5 years, 7 months ago #32104
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I'm so amazingly clever that I often have to give up trying to understand what I'm saying.
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Re: All About Beer 5 years, 7 months ago #32109
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Re: All About Beer 5 years, 7 months ago #32245
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Baguiophoria!
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Re: All About Beer 5 years, 7 months ago #32246
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no one fall in love by choice it is by chance, no one stays in love by chance it is by work and no one fall out of love by chance it is by choice...
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Re: All About Beer 5 years, 7 months ago #32303
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I'm so amazingly clever that I often have to give up trying to understand what I'm saying.
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Re: All About Beer 5 years, 7 months ago #32305
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I'm so amazingly clever that I often have to give up trying to understand what I'm saying.
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