I'm a little deranged right now... Had a few beers but not enough to bring me to my lucidity hehehe. I'm not yet normal... Need more hehehe. It came to me through the posts in the senti thread in the prose and poetry... It takes a lot of courage to share those... I think if people know more of you, you appear weak... But I'll expose a part of me, I'll share some of mine...
Actually, I was not that enthusiastic when ArchAugust told me about the charity project... He told me that it is about helping the orphange, WTH I told myself, but because it's about the children, I thought maybe it's worth listening to.
So I tried to lend an ear, although a part of me subdued, I still think it's not worth occupying my time. I'm very busy... the last thing I can think of taking my time is spending it with those children when in fact a lot of people are already helping them. I want something unique, something that would really make a blast.
But everything changed when I personally went there. I can't imagine how these beautiful little angels lack attention... How they make you, a person they haven't even seen before feel glad and important because of the fact that you went there, we didn't even have anything to give them... it is our first acquaintance. I think to myself "they don't deserve this" they're too precious to be kept in this four corners. They didn't ask to be like this... They are too valuable to be successors of the pain and suffering that other people created.
I fell, I thought I was strong... but I realized, in their world, I was a weakling... In their shoes, maybe I can never face all those adversities with such pure and untainted smile... everything was true... in those four corners the world was the garden of eden, so pure.
Unbecoming actually came from that experience... I never thought that I am a weakling... That I'd do something like this. It is very unbecoming of me. I never really cared, but now I know I can never really know.
With my bed asking me to lie down, comes the real question why this blabbering can qualify as a thread:
DID YOU EVER BECOME UNBECOMING? Become unbecoming? sounds deranged but WTH... I'm sleepy.
